Do's and Don'ts

Have you ever been involved in a long-distance relationship?I, myself, think that it is extremely hard and difficult to sustain your relationship, especially for LDR(long distance relationship).Negative thoughts always lingers in your head.For the LDR couples, mainly at the early stage of the relationship like in the early 6-7 months or are very challenging due to the occurrence of obstacles from oneself(jealousy,hesitation and all that).But after that, you'll begin to understand your partner more and more each day.Hesitation, distrust and apprehensive are your closest worst enemy.There are several do's and don'ts in LDR that every couple should do and/or don't do.Therefore, i give you the do's and dont's prescriptions for your healthy relationship.Hopefully it helps to romance and lighten your relationship.We are all deserve to be happy.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

True Love Story

Hari ini genaplah usiaku 24 tahun iaitu pada 30hb November 2003.
Tapi hatiku rasa tidak keruan, puasku berfikir kenapa agaknya. Sedangkan pada tahun-tahun sebelumnya aku tidak pernah berperasaan begini. Lagi membuatkan aku rasa kecewa ialah pada saat-saat hari gembiraku ini orang yang paling kusayangi sudah melupai tarikh ulangtahunku.

Puas sudah kumenunggu panggilan darinya. hingga membuatkan aku tertanya-tanya kenapa dia tidak mahu menelefonku. Aku bukannya mengharapkan apa -apa cuma sekadar ucapan darinya. Itupun sudah cukup memadai bagiku. Memang aku akui aku dan dia memang jarang bertemu kerana aku di K.L manakala dia pula di Pantai timur. Jarak antara K.L dan Kelantan membataskan pertemuan kami tetapi itu tidak menghalang percintaan kami. Malah ikatan kasih sayang itu semakin bertambah dan sentiasa dibajai dengan perasan dimiliki dan ingin dimiliki.

Sedang aku termanggu sendirian, tiba - tiba aku dikejutkan dengan deringan telefon. Alangkah gembiranya hatiku apabila mendengar suaranya ditelefon. Kurasakan penantianku berhasil. Jika dia berada didepanku ingin aku mendakapnya sebagai tanda terima kasihku. Tetapi suara hatiku berkata kenapa baru sekarang dia hendak menelefonku.Argh… persetankanlah dengan semua ini. Asalkan dia sudah menelefon itu sudah mencukupi. Tetapi segala apa yang kuangankan umpama kaca terhempas ke batu. Bukan ucapan ’selamat hari lahir’ yang terungkap di bibir mungilnya tetapi dia hanya menyatakan bahawa dia tidak dapat meneruskan perhubungan kami lagi. Dan dia mendoakan agar aku tabah menghadapi hari-hari yang mendatang. Ya Allah ujian apakah ni. Begitu mudah sekali dia memutuskannya. Tidakkah dia tahu yang aku benar-benar menyintainya. Hampir 4 tahun usia percintaan yang kami bina dan dia dengan mudah sekali melafazkan kata perpisahan. Sedangkan selama ini dia tahu aku bertungkus lumus berusaha mengumpulkan wang. Ini semata-mata kulakukan untuk menyuntingnya suatu hari nanti.

Puasku memujuknya agar memberitahuku apakah kesalahan yang telah kulakukan sampaikan dia sanggup berbuat demikian. Akhirnya dengan rasa sebak dan terharu dia menyatakan bahawa dia terpaksa mengikut kehendak kedua orang tua dan keluarganya. Dimana dia akan dijodohkan dengan ahli saudara terdekatnya.

Bagaikan gelap kurasakan duniaku ini. Tambah pilu hati ini lagi apabila aku mendengar suaranya yang tidak henti-henti menangis . Kalau diikutkan hati mahu sahaja aku ke Kelantan untuk menemuinya. Tetapi apakan dayaku.

Aku benar-benar bingung ketika itu dan tidak tahu kepada siapakah untuk aku meluahkan perasaan yang berserabut ini. Ingin sahaja aku curahkan segala rasa hatiku kepada kedua ibubapaku, tetapi aku tidak sampai hati kerana selama ini mereka berharap agar aku dan dia akan bersatu. Di saat-saat ini barulah aku terfikir alangkah baiknya sekiranya aku mempunyai seorang kakak. Bolehlah aku meminta pandangannya. Hanya insan yang bernama wanita jualah yang lebih mudah memahami soal hati dan yang melibatkan perasaan kerana jiwa wanita ini amat halus dan penuh perasaan sentimental.

Hari-hari yang kulalui terasa kosong, hambar dan hilang serinya. Begitu jualah yang jelas kelihatan pada raut wajahku. Selama ini aku memang diketegorikan sebagai seorang yang terkenal dengan sikap periang. Tetapi semenjak kebelakangan ini aku mula bertukar watak malah sering bermurung. Bagiku sudah tidak ada makna lagi. Semenjak peristiwa itu aku telah berazam tidak mahu melibatkan diri lagi dalam soal percintaan. Hatiku telah tertutup rapat untuk mana-mana wanita. Aku sendiri pun tidak pasti sampai bilakah ianya akan terubat. Aku juga tidak mahu orang lain menyedari akan perubahan yang berlaku ke atas diriku. Segala susah payah biarlah ku sendiri yang menanggungnya. Bak kata pujanga “Berat mata memandang berat lagi bahuku yang memikulnya.

Ku ingatkan aku boleh bertahan tapi rupanya aku masih belum kuat lagi untuk menerima ini semua. Ku buangkan segala perasaan maluku, pernah ku menangis di hadapan 2 0rang sahabatku. Mereka jua pernah mengatakan yang mereka tidak sampai hati melihat keaadan aku dan takut ianya akan menjejaskan kerjayaku. Malah mereka berdualah yang banyak memberi ku perangsang dan semangat untuk aku terus bangun dari diselimuti oleh perasaan gundah gulana sepanjang masa. Terima kasih kalian berdua “kak jujie dan Kak shiba”.

Berkat sokongan dan dorongan dari mereka aku telah membulat tekad bahawa aku akan cuba sedaya upayaku untuk memilikinya. Bak kata pepatah “alang-alang menyeluk pekasam biar sampai ke pangkal lengan”. Berbekalkan semangat inilah aku meminta kedua ibu bapaku masuk meminang si dia. Walaupun aku sedia maklum bahawa sidia bakal dijodohkan dengan orang lain. Tetapi kurasakan yang aku masih lagi mempunyai peluang. Sedangkan orang yang sudah berkahwin pun boleh bercerai. Inikan pula si dia yang baru hendak dijodohkan dengan orang lain. Bak kata orang ” the best man win”.

Pada mulanya kedua ibu bapaku enggan menurut kehendakku tetapi disebabkan aku beria-ia akhirnya mereka mengalah. Terima kasih buat emak dan ayah. Setelah mencapai kata putus. Ibu bapaku berbincang dengan kedua ibu bapa si dia mengenai hasrat hatiku. Walaupun hanya berbicara melalui telefon, akhirnya mereka bersetuju untuk menerima aku sebagai sebahagian daripada keluarganya.

Akhirnya, setelah pelbagai dugaan telah kuharungi. Aku dan keluargaku berangkat ke Kelantan menghantar rombongan meminang. Ku panjatkan syukur ke hadrat Ilahi, pada tanggal 17/3/2004 cincin pertunanganku telah selamat disarungkan dijari manisnya. Bahagianya kurasakan disaat itu. Aku berjanji dengan orang tuanya bahawa aku akan menjaga anaknya dengan baik serta akan menjadi seorang suami dan ayah yang baik kepada cucu-cucunya kelak. Insyaalah.

Aku bersyukur pada yang Esa kerana telah memakbulkan doaku selama ini. aku juga berharap agar perhubungan ini akan terus berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat. Walau sebesar mana pun gelombang yang melanda aku berjanji akan cuba untuk menempuhinya. Aku akan pastikan orang yang aku sayangi akan sentiasa berada disisi.
Kepada pembaca, jadikanlah kisahku ini sebagai satu ikhtibar. Sekiranya kita sayangkan seseorang cepatlah bertindak. Jangan tunggu sampai sesuatu perkara yang tidak diingini berlaku, barulah kita akan menyesal.

Nukilan : Insan Sepi

This story has touched my heart especially at the time when he cried in front of his two best friends.I can truly feel his pain.But in the end alhamdulilah..this guy memang kuat semangat and he was not giving up on her that easily.That's what im talking about dude!Most importantly in a relationship dua belah pihak mesti kuat.Like this story pihak lelaki memang kuat .It is indeed very difficult to sustain a relationship.I just don't understand why some people simply willing to cut the relationship off just because of the presence of someone that he/she barely knows.So stupid!To all blog readers, learn how to appreciate on what you have right now 'cause when it's gone, it's gone and can never be back.If you have a crush on this person, just tell them honestly the feelings that you have for her/him.At lest she/he knows and this will make you feel better.Trust me.Because you will fight for her/him just to win her/his heart until the very last minute.Love knows no surrender.Love is a battlefield.So fight for your love!

For Men Only

Today's mood is sort of jiwang2 hehe..So i was thinking to write about a relationship in another side of view.When we talk about love,people will give different opinions about it and usually their first impression about love is mostly similar--Hurtful.Really?Is that what you think?Tell me what you think.Okay..Back to the subject,when ones are asked about their impressions, i believe the first thing that came across to their mind before giving in their answers are their recent bad relationship.That is why, i supposed, they said love is hurtful.I believe all of us ever been in a relationship and it surely matured us in many ways, a lesson learned indeed.Love can never hurt ones who are in love.No..That is just not the way it is.But why?What's the problem?

To some people, the problem that occurs to them is money problem, third party problem(this can be either from both sides and/or also the parents' involvement), communication poblem and many more problems to be listed here.These problems somehow interrelated to one another in a way.Can you believe that?Relationship can be the most complicated matter in the universe.Men can never understand women.Never can, yes no sir, and never will..So my aim is to make you guys out there to understand the so-called complexity side of a woman.Are you ready?

1. Quality time.When you are spending your quality time with your girlfriend make sure you do not involve 'friends' in it.That's why we called it quality time together.Especially when you are in a long-distance relationship.Do i have to explain?Okay for one thing,you seldom met your girlfriend and you only got the chance like for few days.Appreciate it.

2. Communication.Like i said communication is the most basic important thing in a relationship.Always communicate with your partner.Tell her what's in your mind.It's not that hard, isn't it?The relationship soon gonna be dead due to the lack of communication.

3.Attention.Attention guys..attention!Women always need attention for heaven sake.So give them what they want i.e. attention.Give a little time of yours to her, show her that you care.Sometimes the word 'i love you' just not enough.So what if you love her if you left her out from your cirlce?She needs to feel needed--that you need her.Seriously, this factor always become the major probem in every relationship and this is huge factor why your partner is cheated on you,somehow(not only women but also men).Just because you cannot give them this tiny littlest thing for her.Of course the girl has no intention at all to cheat her boyfriend but when she needs someone to talk to the boyfriend was busy with his own thing.At the same time his place is inevitably replace by another guy who care her as much as he does.This guy listen to her, understand her, and most importantly...he communicates with her.Of course you don't want this to happen right?We all deserve to be happy.

4.Coax.Women always go sulky sometimes with no reason.Assume that you have a little argument with your girlfriend.At the end of the argument you apologised and asked her if everything isokay between you two.A gentle reminder, when she said 'I'm okay' never believe her.Guys..when we said we are okay the fact is we are not okay.Not at all.Bare in mind!Don't you just walk away from the scene happily, pretending nothing has happened.So when we said 'I'm okay' that's is where you play your part--charm us.The best way i think is by admitting all your fault.That's a good start.Simiarly, when we're quiet or ignore you,ask us (your girlfriend) what is wrong and give us the attention that we demand respectively.Also when we try to walk away from you especially in the heat of argument, follow us. Try to grab our hand and don't ever let go when we push or hit you(ala..pukul2 manja).Then we star to curse you guys and give names.Again, persuade us and let us hear all the magical words i.e. you tell your girlfriend that you love her.

5.Be sensitive.It's your girlfriend for god sake!Men need to learn how to jaga perasaan of their women.You guys are really poor at this part.Be a good listener especially when she is feeling down.When you see your girlfriend start crying, hold her and tell her that everything that will be alright.Your girlfriend need to hear all this kata-kata hikmah.Simple isn't it?It's not that hard actually.

6.Doubt.Oh hoho..it's a tiny simple word with a strong meaning.Guys,we ONLY have doubts when we sense something fishy is going on.We won't accuse our boyfriend for nothing.To have doubts sometimes could kill a healthy relationship in a blink of an eye.If this ever occur to you(not only men but also women), back yourself up.Explain the situation--what, how and why.If she's not buying it, well you may ask your friend to back you up huhu...The important note here is, convince and reassure your girlfriend over and over and over and over again(until your girlfriend sick and tired hearing all this huhu)


Overall, im not an expert okay.It's just that...i just wanna share my opinions with all of you based on my experience and what i've heard from someone i know.We have committed stupid mistakes in the past relationship.We lose 'em.We certainly don't want to lose on what we already have now, right?And we absolutely don't want to repeat that stupid mistake over and over again with the same stupid ending.Love is so beautiful as a matter of fact.It's just that people are so dumb to learn or to appreciate the love that they have now.Appreciate your loved one people.Your family, friends, cousins, kekasih angkat,tunang angkat, whoever he/she is.


p/s: i strongly forbid the so-called forbidden love(the "kekasih angkat" etc).jangan kacau hak orang..berdosa meruntuhkan surau(unmarried couple) and masjid (married couple) orang.

Lovesick or Sick of Love?

We always hear people talking about love and these people have their own perspective about love itself,normally based on their past relationships.My mother always told me that 'orang yg baik akan mendapat jodoh yg baik'.Do you agree with that statement?I let you be the judge of it. Speaking of which,i've been in a relationship like many times and i gotta say im pessimistic when it comes to a relationship.I've already seen and met billions of men with different 'faces' with different stats.What do we,women,want from men?personally,myself i'd prefer a man with brain not a man with the look.Normally the latter is less smarter and the proportion of a man to possess both qualities are very small.I believe that when ones have good education,he can make profit out of it and often going places(what im trying to say is they have bright future and all that).
Second,ones must have good attitude and good background.Last but not least,ones who would love me unconditionally for who i am.These are only the basic actually, before you are in a real relationship, and normally a woman or man set a certain standard for her/his soulmate to be which i sort of believe that everyone of you out there have set few standards in seeking your mr/ms right. Moving on,assume that you are now in a relationship.Of course you love your girlfriend/boyfriend, no question there and i believe that every couples wanted to marry their girlfriend/boyfriend when the time has come(the intention that counts).The thing is how are you gonna make your relationship work until you reach to 'your big day' destination?Another thing is,especially for those who are already been together for quite some times(say, 5-8 years, how do you create the spark in your relationship to make the relationship more keener?



Last night, i watched 'The Break-up' movie (starring Jennifer Aniston and Vincent Vaughn).Honestly i think the guy is such an arse.He didn't know what he already had.I never met a very selfishly self-centered man like him.You see guys, no matter how boring you are when your girlfriend asked you to accompany her going to the shopping malls or watching a stupid boy band that you hate(coz you think they're a big time loser or whatsoever it is), anything that against your likeness.It's not like we wanted you to accompany us for fun(suka2) coz we have girlfriends to have that fun.

The reason why we ask you to come with us is because that we wanna spend time with you guys.Every single second is valuable every time girlfriends spend time with their boyfriends and beside it is so much fun and more enjoyable to do stuff together with boyfriends(disamping mengeratkan silaturahim huhu).I mean, fun that you couldn't find at any girlfriends.Well yeah, think about it.It brings the couple much closer together.The boyfriend knows something about his girlfriend that he didn't know before and vice versa(i guess).What im trying to say is, you get to know your boyfriend/girlfriend much better each day,as you spend more time with him/her.Sometimes we don't know or do not realised what is infront of us or what we already have..not until we lost it.Have you ever experienced it?It scarred for life!Like one of my girlfriend whom i very close with,she's a nice lady in many ways and always become the centre of attention among guys.When we were in Year 2 at UBD, she met a guy who had ultimately changed her life like forever(this is just my opinion).We always share stuff together and she told me how happy she was.Im happy for her too.One day her boyfriend asked her if she could live without him.Well, sometimes she can be naively stupid and her egos..oh my god..i don't even think it would fits to enter the Mall shopping complex.Yes, that big.Of course she said she could live without him.Then her boyfriend said how can she be so sure coz she hasn't experienced it yet.To cut the long story short,her boyfriend was staying in KB so every weekend her boyfriend went to BSB and have a sleepover at my girlfriend's.They dating for a short time only, for 5-6 months.I tell ya, she didn't faced it very well.I felt sorry for her.It took her about more than 2 years to start dating again.She always said to me that if i ever find my mr.right already, grab him but not too tight coz i may lose him and not to loose as well.Well she said something to me..She said she could't believed that it hit on her and she told me that if she could trade him with her degree she would(awww...).Because it is meaningless to hold a degree without him by his side and she was expecting to celebrate her graduation day with him(breaking up with him was so beyond the expectation).Well at least she got me.It's not like the end of the world or anything. That's not all.

Back to the main subject, what does a woman want from her man?Once you are in a relationship, the very basic ingredients in every relationship are trust, believe, have faith, being honest, loyal and so forth.It's not like we, women, asking so much from men like diamonds or pearls.No..Not that..What's the point of having all these diamonds and pearls(ust figure of speech, if you may) or lots of money when you can't have the man or woman that you love most in your life?All we want is your love and attention.Attention and love.Is that too much to ask?When we said i love you and i can't live without you, we frickin mean it.When we asked where have you been, what's your plan later, going out with whom bla bla bla that's only because we frickin care.That's because you mean something for us, not just anybody but somebody who means alot to us.We just wanna know what you guys have been up to.Basically we just simply wanna know how your day have been.That's all.We absolutely love to be there for you guys.Me personally wish that i could be there for him everytime he needs me.Cry with him, laugh with him..everything.But when we care about you guys, you might said we're controlling your life or overreacting or whatever the reason is you guys have in your filthy mind.Is it wrong to show your concern to someone that you love?Life is so unpredictable and life is too short people.What if today is the last day you'd be seeing her/him?Have that ever come across to your mind?It is too late to regret by then when he/she's already gone forever.My point is,appreaciate the one that you have right now.Like i said, life is unpredictable, anything possibly could happened.Sometimes it could be beyond our imagination.Never fail to say i love you to your partner.Express your emotions, tell him/her what you feel inside.Let him/her know.If you feel dissatisfied over something, talk nicely and try to work things out on what to do or not to do in the future.There are millions of ways to express your feelings to your partner. Now,how do you create the spark again in your relationship?For a start, by saying i love you.Again, always express your feelings to your partner and tell them what's on your mind--get 'em off from your chest dude.Once in a while, it is nice to take her out for dinner sometimes and watch movies like the old times.Give your partner a gift, you don't have to wait till their birthdays for god sake.It'd help to cheer them up.For those who are in a relationship for long time already, how long the relationship is not matter.What matter here most is,how deep do you understand your partner--his/her likes or dislikes, good and bad habits, behaviour and attidude etc.Same thing goes to the married couple as well.



Marriage is not the end or the last stage of a relationship and marriage is definitely not a destination.Once you are married that is when your real journey begun.When you marry your boyfriend/girlfriend, you learn more and more things from him and in fact, it is only the beginning.Although you are married already, it is nice to hear the three words once in a while from your partner.It feels that you are being appreaciated and appreciated, and your existence are acknowledged. If any one of you thinking about breaking up, you should think about it thoroughly.Think about all the times that you have spent with your partner--all the laughter and tears, ups and downs etc.Don't simply throw away your relationship just like that just because of the third party that you barely knew a moment ago.Just to be fair, what comes around goes around.Today you hurt his/her feelings, you stomp and trample their heart like s***, perhaps tomorrow your heart got torn on.Especially the married couples, divorce is not always the answer to your problem.Like the old malay saying, patah tumbuh hilang berganti.True..But it's gonna be different with the previous tumbuhan a.k.a plant.Perhaps the regrowth new plant has thorns or can easily die compared to the previous one.The thing is, it's just not the same and never be the same.We always make mistake.No doubt.Try to be more tolerant and considerate to one another.Communication is very significant in every relationship, so try to communicate with your partner as often as you possibly could.Oh..and don't forget to say thank you to your partner in whatever they have done for you, even if its the simplest thing like praising your beauty.By doing so, you make your partner feel appreciated and happy.Never fail to do that.Guys(also girls)when your girlfriends asking and wanting your attention you better give them one for god sake.It will mean alot to them.Seriously.Most importantly is, you have shown your appreciation to your beloved one in a way; it shows how important they are in your life in such a way it tells your girlfriend/boyfriend that they have become part of your life.In my personal view, which you don't have to agree with me by all means,i think that the Twilight couple(Edward & Bella) makes the best role-model couple in a relationship.Of course i know the fact that we always do stupid things in a relationship.I suggest every couples(include the married couples as well) to watch that movie.Try to learn to quote from the movie as well huhu..I also recommend you to watch 'The Notebook'.Two thumbs up!It never fails to make me cry everytime i watch that movie.It's a touching true story.I called it 'Romeo & Juliet'(coz kalah the original R & J which i found not so romantic at all).Go to your any nearby dvd store and grab one.You won't regret it.Start to express your emotions today and don't forget...

p/s: I love you...